In what feels like the longest managerial search in MLB history (it isn't), my wife casually threw out the idea that we should look at the rumored candidates zodiac signs, to see who may be the best fit as the next Padres skipper. By the way, this is what happens when you marry a California girl.
For this experiment I thought it'd be wise of us to compare the two most heavily rumored candidates to the Padres' most recent full-time manager, Andrew Mulligan Green.
Andy Green: Born July 7, 1977 (Cancer)
Cancers, like myself, are loyal to a fault, prideful, sensitive, have bad tempers, and only believe in what they see. Hmm...looks like they made the right move, excusing Andy after four pretty terrible years.
Jayce Tingler: Born November 28, 1980 (Sagittarius)
The Sagittarius tends to be forgetful, outspoken, argumentative, blindly optimistic, impulsive and impatient. Definitely not qualities you look for in a big league manager, probably.
Ron Washington: Born April 29, 1952 (Taurus)
The Taurus is known for their stubbornness (he loves bunting), but is also hard working, rock-solid, stable and practical. They're also um..."given tremendously to sensual pleasures." Sounds like the right fit to me.
This has in no way been skewed to fit my personal narrative or endorsement in any way shape or form. As far as you know.