What Memorial Day means to me: A Gold Star Sister shares her thoughts

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Photo credit Davis Family
By Connecting Vets


by Nakischa Davis Adams, Special to ConnectingVets.com 

What Memorial Day means to me:

I used to look forward to the four-day weekend, four whole days off to eat, drink and have fun. But since January 6th , 2009 the meaning of Memorial Day has changed dramatically.

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These are my memories of losing my brother Staff Sergeant Anthony D. Davis.

I stood in a room with you and your belongings and wondered how did it come to this? Why would God take you of all people?

I wondered how to tell our mom what you looked like after waiting a week to receive your body.

I was angry that although I did this for my job, I now had to look at a face that resembled mine and no longer get a response.

I wondered what I would say to all the people that would come our way with their tears, when I couldn’t find my own. I couldn’t cry because my heart and mind was still frozen to the night when my mom said, “Kischa, there are men here in uniform.”

I hadn’t cried yet because while I dealt with others loss as a Morturary Affairs NCO in the US Army, I never knew it would be my own loved one that would awaken me to what was really on the other end of my table.

I went through all the motions I had done before at Dover, and when the plane ride home finally came, it was the longest trip of my life.

What do you say to the mother of fallen a hero when she’s your mother too?

After the funeral was over and my brother was laid to rest, I finally found the answer to why I had ended up in life where I did.

Now I see that God put me here in the Army as a Mortuary Affairs soldier to bring my brother home to his final resting place, to the arms of the woman who made him and would keep him when he was done serving his purpose.

I am honored to say that after my brother was killed, I now know the true meaning of Memorial Day. I also remember every fallen hero I have had contact with while serving my country. I cry for them all today, not just because I am sad, but because I know there are hundreds of others shedding tears.

I know the emptiness they feel on these days. But I also know that you gave knowing what the outcome could be and I thank you!  

Memorial Day is now the time that I remember all of those fallen, to include my own brother, and while I cry for their loss, I can also smile because of the memories of these great ones who made the ultimate sacrifice. 

This article was originally published in May 2018

Nakischa Davis Adams is a Gold Star Sister. Her brother Staff Sgt Anthony Davis was killed on  January 6th, 2009 in Tikrit Province of Iraq while serving with the 1st Battalion 75th Ranger Regiment.  She currently lives in Hawaii where she is a Master Sergeant in the Army as a part of the Defense POW/MIA Accounting Agency (DPAA). As a Mortuary Affairs NCO she now travels the world recovering former Prisoners of War and Missing in Action Service Members whom never returned home from past conflicts.