Nobody. Nobody wins, really.
Well, at least not the character you may have had in your 'Game of Thrones' pool.
For the last six weeks, 'Game of Thrones' fans have been on pins and needles to see how their beloved - and oft-criticized -- series ends.
And what a series finale it was.
Bran. That's all you need to know. It was Bran all along -- he's the new King of the Six Kingdoms (because his dear sister Sansa makes a claim for how the North was always independent so she finally gets to be the queen she always wanted).
Where are the rest of your favorite characters, you say?
Tyrion gets thrown in jail because he went against his Queen's wishes and freed Jaime, while Jon broods and sulks in the corner saying lines like "You're wrong. She's my Queen." Until.
Jon ends up stabbing her and we stay on this moment for all of three minutes.
Drogon immediately flies over because he senses his mother's death and doesn't burn Jon to a crisp because ta da he's still a Targaryen. Then the last remaining dragon in Westeros burns the Iron Throne to the ground because he's probably like "this is what got my mama murdered."
We spent more time on Tyrion looking for Jaime and Cersei in the crypt, sheesh.
Jon gets thrown in a cell too and we time travel again a few weeks into the future where all the remaining nobles from the Houses are gathered to figure out who gets to sit on not the Iron Throne.
Tyrion is given a redemptive speech to make up for all the times he remained mute in seasons 7 and 8 and it's....okay. We almost saw to a proper democracy but that died amid a hail of laughter.
Sansa makes a claim for the North to remain independent, as mentioned earlier, so there's that.
We see Brienne, Ser Davos, Pod, oh Pod! and even Bronn shows up to be part of Tyrion's inner council when he's named Hand of the King for the....fourth time? Fifth time? We've lost track and honestly, it's all right.
And Bran. It's Bran, that's all you need to know and then say "wait, what?"
That being said, our three remaining main characters do end up where they always wanted: the seas for an adventure a la Arya, a queen and back at the Night's Watch with a mood and those glorious furs.
What did you think?
And did you spot the water bottle near Samwell's feet during the council scene?
"Fans can speak to qualified counsellors (who are familiar with the series) to discuss plot twists and storylines," the website says.
There are 30 or 60-minute sessions for $25-$50.
As most of America (we're looking at you, people, who are still binging Season 2) waited for the finale, the show's stars also bid adieu to a show that made them famous in bittersweet posts Sunday:
Sansa, Thank you for teaching me resilience, bravery and what true strength really is. Thank you teaching me to be kind and patient and to lead with love. I grew up with you. I fell in love with you at 13 and now 10 years on.. at 23 I leave you behind, but I will never leave behind what you’ve taught me. To the show and the incredible people who make it, thank you for giving me the best life and drama lessons I could have ever asked for. Without you I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Thank you for giving me this chance all those years ago. And finally to the fans. Thank you for falling in love with these characters and supporting this show right through till the end. I’ll miss this more than anything.
A post shared by Sophie Turner (@sophiet) on May 19, 2019 at 1:12pm PDT
To the mensches who changed my life, I salute. To being around the very most gorgeous people, to dental work and to no one messing with Sansa except me when I refuse to let her nap. It changed your lives and mine. #GameofThrones, the greatest show on television... so far ------