'I was very hard on myself': Lady Gaga reveals the saddest song on 'Chromatica'

The track might be heavier than you realize

While Chromatica has been one of Lady Gaga’s most groove-forward, dance-centric, upbeat sounding records in her discography, when you take a closer listen to the content of the lyrics you recognize the pain that Gaga is singing about. With Chromatica Gaga takes pop music and gives it purpose. Her sixth studio album is a combination of discovering pain in some of the darkest moments while also triumphantly battling and overcoming her inner struggles.

In multiple tracks on the record, Mother Monster addresses her own pain. “Fun Tonight” is a particularly candid song because as Gaga shares, “I’m really singing to myself.”

During an interview with American Songwriter, the star gives us a deeper look into the lyrics behind the sixth track on the LP. "I think it’s one of the saddest songs on the album,” explains Gaga. She adds, “I was kind of incapable at certain moments of being happy for other people when they were having fun. And I would sit with myself and think, 'I don’t care how many people I see dancing or smiling right now. I cannot have fun.’ Then after I wrote the record, I listened back to it and I said, 'I’m singing to myself.’”

LG runs us through bits and pieces of the lyrics to show us how she saw herself within the chilling yet exciting-sounding song, “You know, I said, 'I’m feeling the way that I’m feeling with you / I stare at the girl in the mirror / she talks to me too.' That girl’s me, right? Then I said, 'I can see it in your eyes,' which means my eyes! 'I can see it in your eyes, which are looking for alright / I’m just sick of acting like I’m having fun tonight. I can see it in your face.' That means my face. I can see it in my face – 'You don’t think you pull your weight.' I mean, that’s just the truth. I was very hard on myself.”

While Gaga is singing to herself here she knows that the theme of inner-critique and self-doubt are all too common and is a shared experience between her and her listeners. She says, “I hope that when people listen to that song and they relate to it that they know shaming yourself for feeling down is not helpful. It happens but it’s not helpful.”

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