Grant Paulsen does not like athletes with long hair.
He can't stand them. He often likes the player, but can't stand their hair.
The latest target? New York Mets starting pitcher Noah Syndergaard.
"I'll never say anything bad about him as a pitcher," Paulsen said. "However, his hair was annoying me."
"I'd love to just say to him, like, tip my cap and say, 'Well done, sir. This is a bad take from me.' But I can't do that. I can't give him the win," Paulsen said.
Instead, he decided to take his, admittedly biased opinion, and double down on it.
"I would sit Noah Syndergaard down in my office when I took over as general manager," Paulsen mused. "I would say... 'I think you're a great player, I think you're a good pitcher. I need you to get a hair cut.' And if he didn't want to get a hair cut that's OK. I'm gonna trade you for a boatload of prospects. 'Cause I'm not looking at you every fifth day. I'm not doing it."
"I can't look at your dumb hair and watch you pitch, even if its 98 on the black and I love you so much," he concluded.
Great, this is something.
Of course, Paulsen admits, "This is my worst take." But it is one he defends, "It comes from a place of truth. It's from the heart."
Paulsen, however, remains unmoved.
"He needs to cut his hair. Period. He just has to," Paulsen declared. "Someone needs to take clippers to him while he's sleeping immediately."
More on this public tête-à-tête as it develops.
(Full Disclosure: Yes, long hair is a subject this author is absolutely an authority on.)