No hyperbole here: One of the greatest moments in the history of radio took place this year on Chad Dukes vs. The World.
It tops the best-of list for 2019 and should top just about every best-of list for the history of time.
The 10 best moments from Chad Dukes vs. The World in 2019:
Russell, when he isn't ruining press conferences and sandbagging all of his colleagues, is probably accusing Gruden of creating a lax practice environment, with music and ping-pong tables at Redskins Park.
Russell went with somewhat of a backhanded compliment to phrase his question about Washington's receiver group to the Redskins head coach at the time and made the moment unmistakably about himself.
"What does he base a comment like that off of? Those are the kind of things that upset me when people make irresponsible statements," Theismann said on The Fan. "This franchise is brimming with young talent: The defensive line, the linebackers, the secondary, the offensive line, I think the wide receiver position, the quarterback position.
"Are you kidding? I would love the opportunity to be able to come in and coach this franchise," Theismann told Dukes.
"Ronda Rousey came in with a lot of equity and she's an incredibly natural athlete," Lynch told Chad Dukes. "But this isn't her domain, this isn't what she's obsessed about for years and years and years. It's what I have. So, for me, it was a matter of saying, 'Okay, yeah, you're naturally gifted. Yeah, you're born tough. But that's not nearly as impressive or long-lasting as being made tough.' "Because I know I'm not the smartest, I'm not the fastest, I'm not the most athletic; but my God, I am the hardest working and I obsess about it more than anybody."
As his latest attack on the media transpired – which began with him grumbling at the mere thought that an honest reporter might try to cover him, ya know, honestly – Russell's disdain for journalist led him to carry out a literal attack on the media. Fortunate for the concerned citizens, the Fourth Estate is here, undeterred, fighting to keep you informed in the face of evil.
"The two things that I know that Maryland bases their identity on: Natty Boh. It's not brewed in Maryland. Crabs. Most of them come from Louisiana, and even if they do, they suck and everybody knows that king crabs are phenomenally better. Alaskan king crabs. They're something to be proud of. They look like dinosaurs. If one was crawling towards you on the floor, you'd dive out the window."
Chad Dukes was royally insulted to see the City of Fairfax, where he owns two small businesses, use a photo of a radio competitor to promote his own appearance in Northern Virginia Magazine.
When Northern Virginia Mag lauded Dukes as the best evening DJ of 2019, a distinct honor Dukes has carried a number of times. Recognizing this as an opportunity to tout its local businesses, the Fairfax City Economic Development Authority created a Facebook post linking to the online article, shouting out Dukes and the other Fairfax establishments he mentioned in it.
"For Bruce Allen and Dan Snyder to hide like weasels, like little snakes, just squirming away from the situation," Shariff said. "I was glad that they got hit with the attendance problem this year, I hope it continues to get worse where Dan feels like he has no other choice but to sell."
"But to run like a bunch of spineless jellyfish, like a bunch of little 'words you can't say on the radio.' Like, man up, dude. You wanna sit there and you wanna embarrass the entire District? You wanna sit there and you wanna force fans to give up their fandom? And then you're too scared, too much of a little wuss to stand in front of a microphone and address it and at least explain yourself? That's cowardly. Those are two little cowards," Shariff said.
This raucous CDVTW segment starts with a staff fight that's long been simmering beneath the surface, between producers Broc Plymin and Tom Daly. It quickly devolves when Dukes makes Blue Shorts laugh until he vomited.
"Um, Dukes, I think I'm getting pulled over."
The greatest sentence ever uttered in the history of sports radio.
Dukes: “Are you serious, Rooster?”
Russell: “Yeah, I’m getting pulled over. …What do you want me to do? I don’t know what you want me to do.”