A new normal, at least for now

Bulldog's attic studio
Photo credit Photo: Chris Parker (@Bulldogwgr)
By WGR 550 SportsRadio

Do I need to go to the store or am I just bored? We’re pretty low on toilet paper, but last week when I was at the store, they didn’t have any toilet paper. How many stores should I try in my quest for toilet paper?

How much does a bidet cost? I probably am not up to installing a bidet myself, so how long is the wait list now for bidet installations? I imagine bidet installers are not working right now, so forget that idea.

Are the rules different now when picking out fruit at the grocery store? It doesn’t seem appropriate any more to pick up an orange and inspect it only to find some flaw with it and put it back. And what is the story with the fruit fondling anyways? Like we’re all my grandma or something and can tell which pieces of fruit are better than the others? Mind you, I’m not disputing that people have this skill, but I’d venture that most of us do not and we’re just sizing up the honeycrisp apples like some dude at an auction just for appearances.

Sort of like when your car breaks down and most of us pop the hood and look in there like we expect to find, well, anything that will help. Hand on hips... hmmm... yup, that’s an engine alright. Sigh, guess I’ll call AAA.

There have been a group of kids from the neighborhood using the church parking lot across the street for all sorts of playing. There’s a couple kids on rollerblades with hockey sticks, kids on bikes, kids on scooters and kids in strollers. This scene makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I love to see and hear the sounds of families using that parking lot just as we did with Owen and Leo. Sad because my shot at doing all of that is over, and despite how awesome it is having an 18-year-old and a 16-year-old, I miss them being little dudes.

I swear, when we made the decision to put an offer in on this house back in ‘99, I stood on the porch and looked at that parking lot and thought, “we are going to teach our kids to ride bikes right there.” That’s exactly what happened.

My wife left for work at 6 a.m. She won’t be back until after 8 p.m., or who knows, maybe much later. She’s a nurse practitioner. One of her co-workers said work right now feels like they’re going up the long, long hill at the beginning of a roller coaster, you know, the clack clack of the chain catching as it pulls you skyward. But they just keep going up and aren’t sure there will be any track for the ride down once they crest the hill.

She comes home each night, entering the back door and heading right for the basement to throw her clothes right in the wash.

When I was at Dash’s on Wednesday, there was no toilet paper, but there was crap-ton of chicken. I thought I’d heard something about chicken, and maybe all meats, getting harder and harder to find and prices, perhaps, skyrocketing. So I had a thought I’ve never had before and that thought was, should I fill up my cart with chicken? Don’t want to get caught low on chicken!

I chose not to buy any chicken. We’ll see how regrettable that decision was next time.

Hang in there people. We’ve all received lots of compliments from listeners over the past couple of weeks. Just for being on and keeping you company. It really means a lot. Thank you for being there for us and riding this things out as best you can.

Be safe, stay home as much as possible, and please try to be patient and understanding when you are out.